We All Fall Down

by Grotoko

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released July 27, 2017

Grotoko is:
Blue McLeod - Lead vocals, piano, viola, violin, glockenspiel, synthesizer, guitar, bass guitar, flute, singing saw, accordion, xylophone, ukulele, banjo, spoons, typewriter, kazoo, bowed cymbal, clock, claps, kick drum and other percussion

With help from:
Cameron Cannon - Second vocals, guitar, claps, footsteps and door slam
Veronica Sayese - Vocals, guitar, ukulele, claps
Brett Kartinen - Vocals, drums

Recorded, mixed and mastered by Shane Patience at Nomad Recording
All lyrics and music other than drums composed by Blue McLeod
Drum parts composed by Brett Kartinen

Artwork by Blue McLeod



all rights reserved


Grotoko Winnipeg, Manitoba

Grotoko is an art rock project, drawing inspiration from punk, grunge, and classical music. Its name is a collage of the words "rococo" and "grotesque".

Using melodic lines and a confessional, sometimes sarcastic, non-sense lyrical style, it is a celebration of emotions, attempting to create something mildly beautiful from some uglier things in human experience.
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Track Name: The Waiting
Once again, the sand in the hourglass is running thin.
Neither of us can be certain just how long it's been,
And we both know that the window at the end of the corridor is firmly closed.
But stay composed. That is the key.

A glimmer of hope is shining over me...
Or so it seems... but the night is fading...
I'm still waiting... I'm still waiting... I'm still...

...And it seems like a lifetime since they left me here,
Only entertained by guarantees and quandary
And how ungladdedly, it maddens me, it saddens me so,
Although I'm told,
"Just remember, never lose your temper; stay composed, that is the key."

A glimmer of hope is shining over me...
Only a glimmer of hope... but the light is fading...
I'm still waiting... I'm still...

It gets so cold in here...
When the last of the candles have perished of fear...
And every creature I invent undoubtedly agrees:
It gets so lonesome here.

Not a glimmer of hope is shining in my way,
For so it seems, all light has faded
And we all know that the lock upon the door has proved a'broken very long ago
But stay composed...
Just stay imposed.

I'll never trust another promise again!

Just remember never lose your temper, just stay enclosed.
Track Name: Alictor Mourns
I'm searching, I'm looking around, turning forth and back
To avoid every view of the facts, but they keep diving before my eyes,
Reflecting bright lights on a treacherous path;
A path I'd rather not take,
Because I know that you're walking the opposite way,
Already consumed by the blackest of fortunes laid unforetold.
Well, I guess I had better be going to see how my own crumpled future unfolds...

...And I'm stealing glances but I've lost my chances...

I'm wandering through forests, I'm weaving in between,
Thoughts of the lives and the secrets you've shared with me,
Amid the voices that've followed us through the years...
It's never seemed quite so quiet in here;
In a house where I cannot sleep,
And I can't see what I'm breathing, they can't see what I'm feeling.
Does that make it all insignificant, if it can't all be seen?
So let's pretend, that it's alright to pretend and pretend...

Now where does the future lie and why has it all seemed a lie
And does it lie without you now? Alictor...
And if I cannot see you soon, why then am I to be so doomed
To miss you like this anyhow? It's alright to pretend...
(One day I'll meet you underground, we'll generate light from sound.
I'd give so much to see you smile. I guess it'll be a while, Alictor...)
And if I had a choice, I'd give so much to hear your voice.
I wish you'd tell me everything. If only I could just tell you one thing...
Where are you now? It's alright, Alictor...

Where does the future lie?
...And why has it all seemed a lie?
...Or is this where it starts:
Lost and alone in the dark?
This is where it starts?
Track Name: Playground
After dark, the air is cool and clear
Out here, I hear no screams, no sirens rehearsing
As I pass your street I'll take my time
Then I'll take a shortcut to the playground
And I'll stay there for a while...

I don't wanna go! I don't wanna go, don't wanna go home!
(Waheyaho! Waheyaho!)
"Sticks and stones"?! They don't understand, understand!
(Waheyaho! Waheyah-waheyaho!)
Whether forcing me up or pushing me down,
Life it seems weighs twelve thousand pounds
This is how it feels to grow.

Out here, autumn leaves, twirling in the whistle of the wind,
They resemble mementos, in the moonlight, of when I was young.
Everything I imagined is gone.
My childhood dreams have all passed on.

So I'll close my eyes, and I'll open my mind,
And for a moment, on the forth-swing, I can fly
(For a moment, we all fall down. We all fall down...)
Up above the hills, over the clouds, into the sky
But when I fall back down...
When I fall back down...

I don't want to joke about the "bullies" outside they fear!
(Innuendo! Innuendo!)
Because it's happened indoors and I've cried just as many tears!
(Waheyaho! Waheyaho!)
So damn them all for the lies they've sold!
I want to crawl out of my skin and burn it on the pavement!
But they can never know...
Oh waheyaho... I don't want to go home...

We all fall down... Husha, we all fall down...

Under gathering dust, I've fallen silent and unsound.
(...Under gathering dust... we all fall down...)
I don't want another promise. I just want someone that I can trust.
(Husha, we all fall down.)
But you are the only one. I need you now...
Can't they hear me screaming?!

We all fall down!
(Don't hold me up! Don't push me down! Waheyaho! Waheyaho!)
We all fall down!
Track Name: January Bird Calls
...And when the snow falls, it falls without a sound,
Yet appears so suddenly, softening these grey and broken suburban streets.
As I wander home, a streetlamp flickers uncertainly,
And I see your silhouette in shadow of a memory...
You're at the other end...
You're just around the bend...

One night at December's end, I remember I heard,
In the voices of a murder of crows, of a wishing well,
Fashioned out of ice and snow,
Leading to an underground city where the buildings hang upside-down,
And glow. The birds don't fly away. They stay around.
That's where they go.

Had I been dreaming, I would surely know.
If you listen close, you'll hear them call,
"It's much better underneath the weather!"

We're getting warmer as we go.
We're gonna find it if we put our heads together.

We're going to make it if we stay together...
Track Name: Closet Song
One, two, three, how many hours in the closet to endure?
I'm counting on my fingers but I'm running out.
Ready or not; I'll never be sure.
Whether he'll find me; I have my doubts.
He's speaking to me.
Doesn't know how much I love him does he?
And it's making me feel dizzy and as though,
My insides are growing wings and fluttering around.
How about instead we play Sardines?

Though, ready or not, he's never gonna find me in here.

Now he's beside me, doesn't really love me does he,
In this poorly lit room of fictional strangers?
He glances at me, sometimes more than others do.
Probably because he thinks I'm weird.
He taps me on the shoulder and he smiles at me,
And I smile back and I am happy for that much time.
But he's beside me. Never in front of me,
And never quite behind me. He'll never love me will he?

Maybe, perhaps, he's hiding in the closet right next to me,
Just beyond what I can see... Probably not. I have my doubts.

Ready or not, he's never gonna find me in here.
If I don't knock, he's never going to find me.

It's been a strange few days, but it feels like a year,
That I've been rotting in a closet here.
He hasn't really looked at me lately, he's walking away from me,
But a piece of my heart must have slipped into his pocket.
There's a hole deep inside of me now, and I don't want to hide it anymore.
I don't want to hide here anymore.
Track Name: Hospital Bed (Closet Song No.ii)
Right... Left right here,
To question without an answerer...
Up, down, forwards, backwards,
I am dizzy and I'm falling apart again.
Am I already dead?
Some things don't seem to make much sense.
They just repeat over again.

My closet home can only fit a few.
Why do I reserve it all for you to leave so soon?
Up above all locked doors,
You're nailing down the floorboards behind you.
I'm a secret secured.

Someday, the doctors will come in.
They'll say that I was always wrong.
They couldn't help me anyway.
This is just what I am.
I was always meant to break.

Left... Right. Left underneath dim yellow lights,
Tucked in tight in blood-stained white,
To keep the seams inside me hidden.
Remind me if I'm already dead,
Because some things don't seem to make much sense.
They just repeat over again.

On floorboards sealing closet doors,
I can hear your footsteps fade,
To the furthest side of the tale we couldn't write:
Left... Right...

(Left... Right... Left... Right, left...)
Right... Left.... Right... Left, right,
Don't tell me that you're sorry that you couldn't save me,
It's not your fault... Right... Left... Right...

It's alright.

Someday, the doctors will come in.
They'll say that I was always wrong.
They couldn't help me anyway.
This is just what I am.
I was always meant to break.
...Falling back into...
(It's alright)

Someday, the doctors will come in.
They'll say
That I was always right that no one really loves me anyway,
(It's alright, it's just what I am.)
And this is just what I am and I was always meant to break.
Remind me why I'm not exactly happy in this place.

Marko! Doesn't anybody know I'm here?
I'm calling out. I have my doubts.
Doesn't anybody know I'm here?
I have my fears and I have my doubts.

I have my fears and I have my doubts!
Ready or not, I am crawling out!
I have my fears and I have my doubts.
Track Name: Tomorrow
I see you're tired, so lean on my shoulder.
Don't worry yourself, just go to sleep...
Don't worry yourself, just go to sleep?

Tonight I'll start a signal fire underneath my bed,
To what I've left of my great ire and everything I wish I'd said.
Tonight I'll build a bridge from the edge of my windowsill,
Of memories, and I'll follow it wherever it leads...

I only live as long as you remember me.

You won't be far away you said, so I promised myself,
That I'll see you soon, but only in my head...

As my fears reside a'hiding, hiding, hiding from the light,
(Don't worry yourself, it's only in your head.)
And tomorrow lies awaiting to be found within the night,
(Don't worry yourself, it's only in your head.)
It'll all work out. It'll all work out, so don't worry yourself,
(It'll all work out. It'll all work out in the end.)
All things have an end.

Something flutters within my chest when you're around.
I can't hold it down, and I can't let it out.
Your voice is simply a most remarkable sound.
Tomorrow's going to be strange without you.

I only live as long as you remember me.
It'll all work out, just go to sleep...
I only live as long as you believe...